the final piece

well ok......so we are about 99.99% sure that this baby #4 is 'the final piece' to our family.  we have been blessed with babies.  we have enjoyed and learned from the roller coaster of adding each of our miracle babies to our family.  so now we are pretty sure that, god willing, this baby in my belly will complete our adventures of adding babies.

today we had our 20 week ultrasound.  we decided that we would find out the gender since we need to figure out how and where to room all these chillins. ;) i mean we could all pile into one room for sure, but since we have some space to work with i figure why not plan some of this out.

i have been feeling like it's a girl, but i didn't know if it was because that is what i wanted or if that's what made the most sense in my head since i am kind of a logical thinker and a math person (even though i DO count on my fingers from time to time).  i digress.

anyways, as we went in to the ultrasound room i kind of started feeling really, really nervous.  i told erik that i just really want a healthy baby and that is what i am mostly worried about.  sounds so cliche, but after ella's birth my nerves were getting the best of me.  erik agreed and said he has been praying all day for a healthy report.  bad memories started creeping in on me too since the last ultrasound i had was literally minutes away from a doctor telling us that they needed to get ella out within the next 2 hours.  lots of deep breathing and repeating of the word "trust" during the ultrasound today.  also lots of erik squeezing my leg saying 'it's ok'.  i must have had some worried expressions on my face.

i kind of started forgetting that we were looking for the gender (since it wasn't obvious right away) and started shooting off questions to the tech.  i was probably a nightmare of a patient because she just kept saying "yes, the doctor will look at that and let you know".  i knew the tech couldn't tell us anything, but i asked away.....can you see and measure fluids in the baby and in me, does that wall look a little thick, is that the belly, blah, blah, blah?  i just couldn't help myself.

then the tech finally saw girl parts and said that it was definitely a girl!  erik asked if she was pretty sure and she said "if this was my ultrasound i would go buy lots of pink stuff and cut the tags off!"  so there you go!!  a GIRL!!!  so exciting....yet i still worried about news from the doctor after she looked at the ultrasound images.

we waited in the waiting room again.  i was feeling kind of yucky and nervous.  they called us back and our doctor said that things looked great and the only thing was a trivial issue with her kidney.  it measured in the upper end of the normal range and she wants us to have another ultrasound in 4 weeks just to keep an eye on it.  she said it's not a huge thing to worry about, but we should just watch it.  she also had us make an appointment with ella's cardiologist to do an echo on this baby just as a precautionary measure.  from what she saw this baby girl seemed to have a healthy heart, but just because of our history with ella she wants a cardiologist to look at it.  she also said fluids looked normal.

so that is that!  and again i am reminded to let go and trust in God who knows what He is doing.  my motto lately has been to trust and choose joy.....even if it means a 'pasted smile' on my face at times.  that pasted smile is me making a conscious effort to choose joy.

we came home and delivered the news to our kids.  they were beyond excited with the news.  well, the boys were and ella was reacting to their reactions to the news.  a beautiful husband and children.....i feel blessed.

We found out if you guys will have a baby sister or a baby brother!

You're going to have a baby sister!!

Ayden: what is this a picture of?  Ella: clapping

trying to point out parts to help ayden make sense of the pic :)

baby girl