Friday, June 29, 2012


so much has been happening!

the school year ended for the boys with some end of the year celebrations such as mother's day concerts and kindergarten graduations.

mother's day tea
mother's day concert

elijah with his kindergarten teacher
getting his diploma

it seems bittersweet that elijah is graduating from kindergarten.  he absolutely loved going to first presbyterian and is somewhat sad to be leaving there.  lots of questions and conversation has opened up concerning private vs. public school.  it's so sweet that he loves praying and learning about god in school.  makes me sad, but also excited for any kind of impact he will make in a public school setting.   we have had multiple conversations about freedom of speech, how jesus wants us to talk about him, how following jesus is a choice, how he won't be learning about god in school but he can definitely share god with others.  he's an inquisitive one.  i just love his sweet heart.

we got elijah into a program that starts in 1st grade called APPLE.  it's in our neighborhood public school, which is convenient.  it was such an answer to prayer since it seems to be popular and kids get in by entering a lottery.  elijah's name was drawn for the last open spot.  so thankful.  it is a program that includes a lot of parent participation.  families are required to put in hours helping at the school, in the classroom, or on committees that plan things for the program.  it felt like a good mix for us in terms of having our kids in a public school setting, but in an environment that is centered around families contributing to their children's education. and one of the best parts is that once one of your children are in the program, all of their siblings are automatically in!  a big weight off of our shoulders!

ayden will continue on at first presbyterian for another year of preschool and then kindergarten before he joins elijah at our neighborhood school in the APPLE program.  ayden has come such a long way in just this one year of preschool.  i have been noticing a sweet side and a very active thinker-type.  he always has things to say that make me say 'wow!  you're right!  good thinking!'  love, love him.

ella.  ella.  she is one independent, determined, little miss thang.  sometimes i watch her (and even a few of my girlfriends have said the same thing) and it is no wonder that she was such a fighter in her beginning months of life.  i swear she is going to move mountains in one way or another.  she has such a love for her family too.  if any one of us comes home from anywhere, you hear her pitter patter, running feet to greet you at the door with a giggly squeal and outstretched arms for a big hug.  loving the adventure of watching her personality emerge.

i had a baby shower for our little amelia.  it was a joint baby shower with my sister because she is due with a baby girl just 4 weeks after me!  it has been so fun to share this experience with her since it will most likely be my last pregnancy.  we threw the shower together since we would have thrown showers for each other, we decided to do one big one and plan it together.  didn't get many pictures, but there are a few.  ;)

this sunday i will be 31 weeks with amelia, which is how far i was with ella when we found her enlarged heart and had to have an emergency c-section.  i feel like it is a milestone and i have found my thoughts wandering to fears and scary thoughts.  i feel like crying and want an ultrasound so badly.  i stop and ask god for strength and talk myself down, telling myself it's ok and everything will be fine.  there are such major symptoms and lack of symptoms that assure me that this pregnancy is going a different route than ella's went.  i remember being in unbearable pain starting at 29 weeks with ella where just sitting or barely moving would bring me to tears.  not being able to walk comfortably when we went trick or treating and really not being able to tolerate the pressure and pain at all.  don't get me wrong, i have discomfort, but it is tolerable and way, way different than it was when i was at this very point with ella's pregnancy.  so hard for me to imagine having amelia right now.....31 weeks.  wow.

that has been a somewhat quick summary of our last month or so.  lots going on!  now we are entering hoopfest weekend, which is a huge (the biggest) 3-on-3 basketball tournament that erik plays in every year.  we seem to have a new child, nursing child, or pregnant belly these last 4-6 years or so, which makes it pretty eventful.  ;)  then we are off for family vacation in montana on thursday!  just the 6 of us on a lake in a cabin we rented.  looking forward to it!!  oh and in our new van that we just know, to accommodate a family of 6.  life is good......god is good......all the time.

Friday, June 8, 2012

coming soon

so we found out we are having a girl.....

a few things have happened since.

baby girl's kidneys are developing well.

we picked a name.

i registered.  for diapers.  without erik.  i guess that's what happens with baby #4.

we picked a date (as odd as that sounds to me).  her c-section will be on august 16th, 2012.

this scheduling of amelia's birthday just happened yesterday and it somewhat affirmed some feelings i have been having.  to be perfectly honest, i don't feel ready for another baby.  i am so happy to be blessed with another baby girl, but i'm nervous and this makes me feel a little bit guilty.  so many pregnant women i know are beside themselves and want to meet their little one as soon as possible.  as uncomfortable as it could become.....i am perfectly content with amelia staying right where she is for a bit.

it was a little bit tricky (and emotional for me) to decide on a date.  our doctor said we needed to pick a date close to 3 weeks before my due date.  we had to go earlier than normal because of the nature of my c-section with ella.  i had a classic c-section (vertical incision), which has a higher risk of rupturing if i go into labor.  at the same time our doctor said that sometimes a 37 week baby may need a little help from the nicu for breathing.  this instantly choked me up and made my eyes start to water.  my doctor knows my history with babies and reaffirmed me that every baby is different and plenty of babies are born at 37 weeks without needing any help.  she also reminded me that a healthy baby born at 37 weeks and needing very little help is completely different from a very, very sick baby born at 31 weeks.  i know this, but i just froze up when i heard nicu.  so we picked august 16th and i will be at 37.5 weeks.

so to find out we will be having her in 10 weeks kind of caught me by surprise.  it is a mix of: feeling like ella is still just a baby,  she is still in diapers, she is still in a crib, wanting amelia to develop fully in utero, making an appointment for her birthday, a real fear of the nicu, juggling 4 kids, the boys going to 2 different schools at different times next year, the lack of sleep that comes with a newborn.  there is a lot more too, which makes me realize i need to get rid of all that cloudiness and get back to simple.  my healthy, happy, loving family and a god that loves us and provides everything we need. thankful. period.

so for 10 weeks before amelia is born i will make a point to intentionally enjoy these beauties:

i am going to enjoy intentional time with my erik.

i am going to fully enjoy any sleep that comes my way.  ;)