coming soon

so we found out we are having a girl.....

a few things have happened since.

baby girl's kidneys are developing well.

we picked a name.

i registered.  for diapers.  without erik.  i guess that's what happens with baby #4.

we picked a date (as odd as that sounds to me).  her c-section will be on august 16th, 2012.

this scheduling of amelia's birthday just happened yesterday and it somewhat affirmed some feelings i have been having.  to be perfectly honest, i don't feel ready for another baby.  i am so happy to be blessed with another baby girl, but i'm nervous and this makes me feel a little bit guilty.  so many pregnant women i know are beside themselves and want to meet their little one as soon as possible.  as uncomfortable as it could become.....i am perfectly content with amelia staying right where she is for a bit.

it was a little bit tricky (and emotional for me) to decide on a date.  our doctor said we needed to pick a date close to 3 weeks before my due date.  we had to go earlier than normal because of the nature of my c-section with ella.  i had a classic c-section (vertical incision), which has a higher risk of rupturing if i go into labor.  at the same time our doctor said that sometimes a 37 week baby may need a little help from the nicu for breathing.  this instantly choked me up and made my eyes start to water.  my doctor knows my history with babies and reaffirmed me that every baby is different and plenty of babies are born at 37 weeks without needing any help.  she also reminded me that a healthy baby born at 37 weeks and needing very little help is completely different from a very, very sick baby born at 31 weeks.  i know this, but i just froze up when i heard nicu.  so we picked august 16th and i will be at 37.5 weeks.

so to find out we will be having her in 10 weeks kind of caught me by surprise.  it is a mix of: feeling like ella is still just a baby,  she is still in diapers, she is still in a crib, wanting amelia to develop fully in utero, making an appointment for her birthday, a real fear of the nicu, juggling 4 kids, the boys going to 2 different schools at different times next year, the lack of sleep that comes with a newborn.  there is a lot more too, which makes me realize i need to get rid of all that cloudiness and get back to simple.  my healthy, happy, loving family and a god that loves us and provides everything we need. thankful. period.


so for 10 weeks before amelia is born i will make a point to intentionally enjoy these beauties:

i am going to enjoy intentional time with my erik.

i am going to fully enjoy any sleep that comes my way.  ;)