Wednesday, October 24, 2012

then + now

i have been looking back at pictures of my kids to appreciate and remember.  every fall i am sure i will get this 'remembering feeling' as we get closer to ella's birthday.  a feeling of gratefulness and a reminder of how praiseworthy Jesus is as He continues to give life.  life in many different ways.....i keep thinking and wondering how it would be if we lost ella and i know that 'life' would have still come out of that situation as dire as it may have been.  i know because i had hit rock bottom and was preparing myself to lose her and had began thanking Jesus for the life He had already given me and began accepting His sovereignty.  there would have been 'life' out of even the worse case scenario because my character would have been stretched and grown.

i want to, daily, approach life remembering then and now.  here are a few then and nows i want to remember:

then: Jesus on the cross
now: my salvation

then: a relationship in sin
now: a beautiful marriage

then: my beautiful 1st born son, Elijah

now: my kind, smart boy Elijah

then: my darling 2nd born son, Ayden

now: my make me laugh, sweet boy Ayden

then: my 'rock my world' 3rd born daughter, Ella

now: my reminder of saving grace, go get 'em girl Ella

then: my loving 4th born daughter, Amelia

now: my reminder of light, adoring girl Amelia

remembering "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." - James 1:17

we are all changing from then to now, hopefully growing and bringing forth new life thanks to our unchanging Savior.

fall will always be a super reflective season for me in terms of change and life and i am thankful for this.


  1. So true. Watching you go through the process of surrender was life-changing for me. I still can't believe it all happened...and you are now this beautiful family of 6. So thankful for even more change. Love you.

  2. Christa, you write so beautifully -- I think it's in part because you share with such depth and honesty. I love your heart. You make me want to be a better person, and in particular, spurned me tonight to tears even --- to 'remember' and well with gratitude for all He has done then & now. Thank you, Friend! Loved reading this & seeing your beautiful kids!! Good gravy those genes!! :).... and those hearts that are molded from your hearts pouring in...

  3. So true! I can't quite put into words how much Ella's story and your daily (sometimes hourly) surrender you shared on her blog touched our lives! Love the update on the kiddos and am sending a big "Congrats" on baby #4! Your kiddos are so beautiful! Blessings!

  4. I am still amazed by God's grace and mercy. Almighty God cares for little ol' grateful for what he has done, is doing, and will do in yours and Ella's and your family's lives.